You are probably thinking, why would I be grateful for being stuck? Women email, call, and reach out to me every day about being stuck desiring something more, or different. They want to step into new, more empowering beliefs about themselves, their bodies, their circumstance, or their identity. They often say - "I simply feee stuck."
I too, feel stuck at times. But when I realize that I’m stuck somewhere, that’s the moment that I begin to invest my time, and my mind into the direction of change. Had I not been aware of my stuck-state, I would still be in many dark, un-serving, and unfruitful places in my life. Honestly, stuckness does not stay with me long these days, and I am so grateful for that!
WHAT IS STUCK-NESS?
So being stuck, is essentially an indicator. It’s an prompt that we are ready to experience something new, or something more. Is a signal that we are ready to move away from some unwanted experience, and towards a life and experiences that we so desire and are worthy of.
THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF BEING STUCK.
The biggest challenge with being stuck is how to move away from these unwanted experiences? How do I move away from being codependent, having the courage to move on from a job or career, a relationship, disempowering habits, or even foods that no longer serve me? That’s the issue, not knowing how to move on. You may think, I know all the things to do. I watch all the videos, read all the books, tried all the diets, talk to many friends, listen to podcast, take the courses, go to the retreats and seminars, listen to the TedTalks, wear the crystals, do the vision boards, and even spend time with God - it’s just not working.
I get that – fully. And here’s the science behind the reason that is difficult to move away from the stuck-state:
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do. " – Romans 7:15-16
WHY WE END UP STUCK?
Our brains don’t know how to do things differently. It’s just a simple as that. We have to rewire our brains, to embrace something new. We do this by a slow and steady pace of experiential exercises, and unpacking stories behind the beliefs that have us stuck. It’s a song and dance, and a beautiful experience. It doesn’t happen fast, that’s why it’s called a journey! It’s a journey of experiences that take us to a higher level, and it never stops.
Our brains literally think that we’re going to die if we try something different. It immediately put us on high alert that danger is near. It doesn’t know the difference between a new and empowering thought process, and a person wielding a gun at us. It doesn’t want to deal with it stress of it. So it does everything from self sabotage, procrastination, and over-eating, weak boundaries, negative self talk, attraction to mental and physically abusive relationships to keep us there. Why? because that’s a safe place. It’s a place that the brain knows. However, it is a place that no longer works for us or a place where God’s plans for us can thrive. It’s a place that is unfruitful, dry, lonely, desperate, and un-serving. It explains why people who have been incarcerated for years, feel safer in-prisoned.
If you were ready to move from those places, book a discovery call with me, or jump in to my Weekly Unstuck Workshops!
In the meantime, here are 5 Steps to help you Stop the Stuck-ness:
Tip #1 - Define what it I that you want be experiencing.
Have fun with this! Don't hold back. Start by saying "If I could wave a magic wand, my life would like this:
Tip #2 - Unpack- Ask yourself, what would someone have to believe about themselves that they can have this type of experience.
Step back and think about someone else experiencing this other than yourself. Sometimes it is easier to see someone else in this new experience rather than ourselves, because of the mental space of unworthiness and judgement that we may be feeling about ourselves at this point in our lives.
Tip #3 - Set Your GPS - Do some Core Value Work
Core Values can change the trajectory of our lives. They must be defined before we can set effective and purposeful goals. Check out my Core Value Exercise at the end of this article.
Tip #4 -Set Graceful, Small, and Attainable "journey goals" to gradually move you towards your wanted experience and away form your un-wanted experience.
Please keep this small and itty-bitty. Example: If you want to start a workout regime, just commit to one-day per week to begin. Master that, then add days!
Tip #5 - Take Empowered Action. Choose one new habit and apply it as long as it takes to stick!
Choose one new habit. Think about the person that you imagined in Step #2, what is one habit that they must have in order to have these experiences? Acquire it until it becomes indoctrinated into your life without having to think about it. Don't start placing time frames in this!
"Slow and steady wins the race."
So, being stuck is not so bad, right? It is a signal and indicator for those who are aware. If you are ready to get on the fast track to where you want to be, or who you want to become, sign up for my weekly in-person SEXY, BOLD & UNSTUCK Workshops! I have full clarity on my purpose in this life. And it is to provide a platform for women to be fully realized through self-love and personal growth! I want not light up this world one woman at a time, by helping them become SEXY BOLD & UNSTUCK!
A Little About The Workshops:
Weekly 1.15 Hour Sessions - Wednesdays 6PM-7:15PM Central
Your may join us in person at The Lounge, or via Zoom
Topics on Relationship with Self and others, Health, Career, Parenting, Transitioning and pivoting, Motherhood, Divorce, Spirituality, Dating, Co-Dependency, Reinventing yourself, Body Image, Sensuality, etc.
Monthly Subscriptions, Small Packages, and Single Session Options available.
Recordings available if you miss a session
Small refreshments, coffee, tea, water, wine will be served
Guest speakers
Click here for my Core Values Exercise as described in Tip #3. And also a Podcast, by my friend and coach Jeanette Schaub on Core Values!
See You Soon My Sexies! ;)
Jacinda Haines
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